"Duh! Losing!" Sheen, Shirts and Parental Awareness

Shortly after 9am one rainy weekend last month, I shivered in drenched clothes as I and hundreds of others waited for the bell to herald the start of the Lakewood Ambulance Chase 5K. Bouncing back and forth to keep warm, I saw a young man (14 to 15 years old) sporting a t-shirt featuring Charlie Sheen. One side featured Mr. Tiger Blood himself with his trademark "Winning!" phrase, while the other side promoted his "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour. This traveling circus' April stop in Cleveland was presumably the source of this purchase. Based on the lad's age, I inferred that his parents- or, at least one of them- purchased the shirt for their son. At least, they knew their son had it in his wardrobe- unless, of course, the lad did his own laundry.

I've laughed at my share of "Two and a Half Men" episodes along with the rest of the US. But I nevertheless marveled at how a parent might find this acceptable clothing for a child who, given the status of American education, may not even know how to spell prostitution, cocaine, domestic violence or any of the vices for which Sheen is famous. Were the parents so mesmerized by Sheen's "rebel chic" that they felt a man who shot his girlfriend without consequence (and emerged 20 years later with a new story that she herself did it), reportedly knocked around several other wives & "companions", coked, boozed, & thumbed his nose at employers could impart his rambling wisdom to their son to the tune of $50 per ticket? Mom and/or Dad didn't care if their teen promoted this man on his back because....they were undoubtedly promoting it on theirs.  And at 14, it is too late for them to undo the damage of the tacit message they've given their son.

Damage? Yes, damage. Hopefully my fellow runner won't engage in Sheen's antics. But my intuition tells me if his behavior ever meets the heavy hand of the law or the college dean, Mommy & Daddy will blame the drama on others: the system, vengeful girlfriends, jealous buddies, a mean boss, the principal, butcher, baker, candlestick maker. Anyone except themselves. And he'll get away with it as long as he's...duh! WINNING...at athletics, his trade, politics, entertainment, or whatever talent captures attention.

Surely I'm being melodramatic. A teen's wardrobe has no relationship to his behavior, right? Just because a boy wears a shirt doesn't mean he'll play "monkey see, monkey do." Perhaps. But it's not the piece of cloth at issue. Rather, its the circumstances at home that occurred way before Junior thought it was "cool" to promote tiger blood. And for all the attention given to teenage girls' wardrobe, and this culture's sexualization of women at younger ages...we must give equal scrutiny to the potentially destructive message given by boys' clothing.

Little more than a mile away from the park where Sheen's young fan and I began our race, 39-year old Tracie Eck was shot a week and a half prior by an ex-boyfriend who, by most accounts, had been stalking her for months since their breakup. After her assailant's mother rang her doorbell, Eck was shot in the face by a violent torpedo...not of truth, but of control and threats. She was blinded in one eye by his bullet, not hit in the arm like actress Kelly Preston (Sheen's ex-girlfriend). Her assailant does not enjoy Sheen's fame, which is largely why he sits in jail alongside his enabling mother. Prosecutors in Cuyahoga County will not buy any claim it was an "accident," for he has no celebrity status to assist him in escaping accountability. Eck's former boyfriend does not have thousands of fans who will pay $50 to listen to his ramblings. And unlike Sheen, he won't meet jubilant applause from Clevelanders if he compares his blinded ex to our "Judas" Lebron James. Unlike the one-nighters, companions and ex-wives in Sheen's history, Eck is not saddled with the disrepute of a sexualized industry. We have no excuse to dismiss her story or deem her a golddigger. And it's unlikely her assailant's likeness will grace the back of a teenage boy running a 5K. But a rose by any other name....

At the heart of the Lakewood shooting lies a mother who allegedly aided and abetted her son's act of vengeance. It's hard to tell if she participated out of fear or family partisanship. Like her son, she is entitled to her day in court. Safe to say, this isn't Mom's first rodeo when it comes to enabling. A woman doesn't wake up at the ripe age of 62 and say, "Ya know, I'm gonna help my son shoot his girlfriend today." Rather, enabling begins long before a child is old enough to =hold= a firearm. It starts when they are old enough to wear a t-shirt.